HUMANS OF TUMBLR, WOULD YOU PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THOSE WHO PUT EFFORT INTO YOU

oh hey, remember when i sent this to you at the beginning of may to help you feel better and never got a reply? well, i really do. oh wait you never replied to shit hahaha

i wish i had fans to say “you should come off anon so we can be friends/date/fuck/get married” to

well not really, actually, but

when i see everyone else but me being admired and yearned for

i feel ugly and i feel like crying

nobody is desperate for me.

does anyone here know how to do physics by the way because i can;t do this.

i really get sick about overpopulation. but it’s really shitty how so many people die. ALL the time. the best people - tragic car accidents, for example. a wife and two year old son left behind. no life insurance, either. why can’t all the ignorant folks or the evil people die?

that’s sad.

don’t you love it when people confirm the things you already believe of yourself?

anyone can tell me it’s irrational, but then it’s proven to me. is it irrational now?

is it irrational to feel like the people i want the most just don’t even give a fuck about me? you can say i’m your friend but actions speak louder than words when you like me one day and drop me the next.

real fucking louder.

i woke up with puffy eyes and bloodied salt in my bed.

i wasn’t going to go see ben and dan today, too sad. but i want to. i can’t sit in this house right now.

why can’t you ask me if i’m angry with you? why can’t you ask me if i’m alright? the answer to both those questions is no. i’m very sad and injured and shocked.

you don’t even read this blog, but while you’re loving and fucking, i’ll be carving up my body. and i want you to know because i will use this negative coping skill to manipulate others into giving me attention and care. knowing that such people cannot stop me is powerful. you have power over me, but you can’t stop me. hell, you don’t even give a shit, i know that’s true.

MY HEART. IT HURTS.

ADVICE TO READERS: don’t you dare give another human being false hope. don’t do that. that is so, so cruel.

i feel like literally everyone is going to that The Air I Breathe show tonight at the studio under webster hall. groups of friends who don’t even know each other could come into contact. how weird is it that we are so connected and never even realize it?

new followers: i do my best on this blog not to post anything triggering. i will never post cutting pictures or like seriously emaciated people nor will i show off anything on my body, for example i would just write about it. ‘i relapsed today,’ for example. but otherwise this blog should pretty much be a safe space, alright? :)

i just finished watching beauty & the beast. i’m seriously wondering right now how mrs potts is chip’s mother. he’s like, 5 years old and she’s about 70. whaaaat.

the light was beautiful today in washington square park. it had stopped raining, but it was still muggy and a little sunny. it was that weird kind of sunlight that doesn’t feel real.